Thoughts on Motherhood

Thoughts on motherhood…

I have six children, five of them in six years. Life is…a little crazy.

I get funny looks in the grocery store, whether it’s because I have a lot of little kids with me, or because someone is throwing a fit.

Cleaning up messes and trying to prevent disaster is how most of my day is spent.

I’ve stopped counting how many loads of laundry I do, because I’m afraid to know.

I hope that I get a shower…at least every other day.

I fall into bed every night, hoping that the baby will sleep just one more hour.

I spend more time cooking meals and cleaning them up than anything else I do.

I rarely have a quiet moment, just a constant, dull roar in the background.

I pack everything + the kitchen sink when I go anywhere.

My definition of relaxation has changed from a day at the spa to just being able to sit down a read a book.

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When my oldest son was about 18 months old, I was out shopping with a good friend of mine, who also had a little boy the same age.  We were both pushing our strollers and trying to get them up some stairs into a restaurant, when an older woman came up to us. She told us to make sure and enjoy every moment with these boys, because while it didn’t seem like it now, the time would pass much too quickly, and they would be grown up before we knew it.  I didn’t realize how true her words at the time, but I’ve now learned how right she was.

Every moment is not pure bliss, and I’m certainly not rejoicing while mopping underneath the chairs for what seems to be the 50th time that day. Nor am I jumping for joy about damages done when little boys are left to their own devices when I’m feeding the baby, or when their bodies go into rigor mortis while I’m trying to put them in the car seat (and always in front of other people, of course). Yet these things are quickly forgotten when a tiny hand brushes my cheek, sweet lips give me a kiss, little arms reach up to me, or when I hear a tiny voice call out “mama”. My payment comes in smooshed flowers picked from the side of the road and eagerly handed to me,  sweet voices whispering “I love you”, and a little hand placed in mine. I know that these moments are fleeting, and one day, when my home is empty I will wish for just one more smooshed flower, one more little hand print on the glass, and a little less quiet. I LOVE being a mom, and more importantly, I enjoy it.

Enjoying life, being grateful for what you have right now is not a new lesson, but it can be hard.  When we were first married, both students, and poor as church mice, I would look around my cinder block apartment and dream of the house we might have someday.  We planned out our life, discussed how many children we wanted, and decided what we thought would be the perfect spacing.  We ended up being in school for almost eight years of our married life, didn’t buy a house for a few years after that, and encountered struggles with infertility and loss when we wanted to have kids.

Through all of that, some of the best times we’ve ever had were during those “cinder block” years when we had no money at all, and were forced to be creative when it came to date nights and pretty much everything else. We also had one child for almost eight years, and we loved him to pieces.  (still do. ♥) We wanted more children desperately, and it was a time in my life when I really had to make the decision to enjoy where I was at, and what I had, because what I was experiencing was so difficult, and I could easily let myself miss out on enjoying all that I had right then and there.  So, I changed the way I looked at things.  We went places and did things together that we can’t do now–or would be much more difficult–and I’m so glad for those experiences.  I have a bond with that son that while not stronger, is different and unique from those of his siblings.

So, my wish to you is that despite your circumstances, your life’s trials, or what you hope to have happen one day, that you enjoy life to its fullest now, and celebrate YOU!  We can do anything, be anything, and have the greatest influence on not only our children and in our home, but on so many others around us.

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